Gravida, Para, Abortus

Gravida, Para, Abortus

by Justine C. Tajonera

In a few notations, I reviewed my reproductive life.
One miscarriage at the end of the first trimester.
I didn't have a name yet. Blighted ovum.
No one's fault. Tears.
The first live birth to term. Happiness and
weariness all at the same time. Fourteen hours of
labor. Emergency caesarian. A son.
One ectopic pregnancy. I remember bleeding
in the toilet, after an office meeting. I kept
saying, "No, no, no. Please stay, please, please."
Frightful, intense pain in my right abdomen.
Operation at dawn. Emptiness. Tears again
in the recovery room. My brother called on
my cellphone. No one else was there.
One more live birth. A girl, finally.
No protracted labor. I was wiser, this time,
rooming her in immediately, not caring
what the nurses said.
One scar, two children, two
deaths, two births. All of it fit in four
digits: 2, 0, 2, 2.

I credit a fellow poet, Jimmy, for helping me with this edit of the poem:

In a few notations, I reviewed my reproductive life.
One miscarriage at the end of the first trimester.
I didn't have a name yet. Blighted ovum.

No one's fault. Tears. The first live birth to term.
Happiness and weariness all at the same time.
Fourteen hours of labor. Emergency caesarian.

A son. One ectopic pregnancy. I remember
bleeding in the toilet, after an office meeting.
I kept saying, "No, no, no. Please stay, please, please."

Frightful, intense pain on my right abdomen.
Operation at dawn. Emptiness. Tears again
in the recovery room. My brother called on

my cellphone. No one else was there. One more
live birth. A girl, finally. No protracted labor.
I was wiser, this time, rooming her in immediately,

not caring what the nurses said. One scar,
two children, two deaths, two births.
All of it fit in four digits: 2, 0, 2, 2.

Also adding a note to this poem:

Note: This was written after our annual physical exam at the office. It felt very surreal to be processed from one station to the other. The doctor wrote cryptic numbers on my sheet. I took the time to figure it out, afterwards. The title refers to the GPA system but what was actually written on my sheet was TPAL (T = babies born to term, P = para or preterm births, A = abortus or miscarriage, L = live births). Gravida is the number of pregnancies.