Thursday, December 07, 2006

Maternity Leave

I'll be starting my maternity leave on Dec. 11. From then on my access to the internet and e-mail will be limited.

This is a very exciting time in my life.

After I give birth, I expect a lot of changes. I'll be a different person...
... a mom who'll babble, coo and somehow try to communicate with a baby that has yet to learn a spoken language
... a working professional who will be juggling corporate programs and a baby who has no idea what a deadline is
... a girl who will lose her girlhood
... a wife who will juggle her attention between a demanding husband and an even more demanding baby
... a friend who will be needing friends more than ever, with new responsibilities (and no sleep, baby poo, and frenzied baby wailing) that may be overwhelming
... a human being who will be the only source of food for another human being

The list goes on and on. I am trying my best to be prepared. But somehow, I foresee that I will be in for a lot of surprises.

At the heart of it all, I catch myself saying: "I love you, Badger. I can't wait to see you." And I realize that falling in love with your baby can't be helped. It's partly mother nature. The real task is to fulfill that love in the highest order. It is a choice, a constant effort. A commitment that begins in marriage and encompasses our shared future. It is a daily decision.

It is indeed scary, overwhelming. But it is one of the greatest opportunities I will ever have in this world to fulfill my purpose in life. It is difficult. But as I learned from Rilke's "Letters to a Young Poet," one must trust in the difficult because it is the most authentic form of love.

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