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Showing posts with label sleep. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sleep. Show all posts

Saturday, December 19, 2020

Winter Writing Sanctuary, 2.3 Honouring the melancholy, Invitation J: Feeling it




The Art of Extinguishment

I can hardly keep
my eyes open,
drenched in 
this bone-
tiredness.
I crawl into
bed, my pillow,
a temple, 
and blanket
myself with 
blessed dark. 
Tomorrow is
an alien ship
I will not
board 
for now. 
There is
nothing wrong
with
rest. 

Justine C. Tajonera
Image by Quin Stevenson of Unsplash

Monday, October 28, 2013

ModPo 2013 #49 Inter Net, Cross-Cultural Dreams: On Guest's "20"

Image from The Matrix from en.wikipedia.org.


20
BY BARBARA GUEST

Sleep is 20
                    remembering the
insignificant flamenco dancer
in Granada
                    who became
important as you watched
the mountain ridge
                    the dry hills

What an idiotic number!

Sleep is twenty

it certainly isn’t twenty sheep
there weren’t that many in the herd
under the cold crest of Sierra Nevada

It’s more like 20 Madison Ave. buses
while I go droning away at my dream life
Each episode is important
that’s what it is! Sequences —
I’ve got going a twenty-act drama
the theatre of the active
the critics are surely there
even the actors
even the flowers presented onstage
even the wild flowers
picked by the wife of the goatherd
each morning early (while I sleep)
under the snow cone
of Sierra Nevada

                    yellow caps like castanets
                    I reach into my bouquet
                    half-dreaming
                    and count twenty
                    yellow capped heads

flowers clicking twenty times
because they like to repeat themselves

as I do as does the morning
or the drama one hopes
will be acted many times

As even these dreams in similar
people’s heads

                         20
   
                     castanets

Information from PoetryFoundation.org: Barbara Guest, “20” from The Collected Poems of Barbara Guest. Copyright © 2008 by Barbara Guest and reprinted by permission of Wesleyan University Press.

Source: The Collected Poems of Barbara Guest (Wesleyan University Press, 2008)
------------------------------------------

This was the most musical poem of this chapter. Before I watched the video discussion, I scribbled down some impressions of the poem: I think of clicking prayer beads, a meditation on dreams and waking.

While I came away with something entirely different from the video discussion, this personal takeaway was also very valuable to me. I've been trying to study my sleep habits. As an adult, I'm supposed to be sleeping at least 8 hours a night. Lately, I've been getting by with only six or seven hours (thanks in part to ModPo! But I'm not complaining, really). I find it very interesting to cross the threshold between waking and dreaming. I also just finished reading The Lathe of Heaven by Ursula Le Guin and it's fascinating to just contemplate the power of the subconscious. And the effects of NOT getting enough sleep!

I like how the poem doesn't even need to make sense. Attending to the words is already musical in itself. The words click, the sounds make a rhythm, the images join the rhythm and I'm totally immersed in the synesthetic experience (I love that word and what it signifies). I dive into clicking butter bells and at the end, 20 isn't sleep anymore but castanets.

Indeed, the last lines were well-earned.

Inter Net

Sleep comes in zeroes.
Ones and zeroes
                           remembering the flowers in the faceless
driver's long hair in Bali
                                       who became a god as you watched
the endless waves of the long beaches
                                     and the perfectly secretive lava rock statues      

Is zero even a number!

Sleep is 0    

It isn't a jar of cream.
But maybe it is, one hidden in my luggage,
crossing over from Jakarta

It's more like the lack of taxis
on a rainy night in front of Cybergate
while I slip away into my dream life
like so many episodes of Glee
even the ones that I missed,
like that tribute to Cory Monteith,
like the one where I catch a yellow cab.
That's what it is! Episodes-
A five season comedy-drama-musical
the TV of the active
the audience is there
the actors are there
even Charice Pempengco
before she came out
and the songs
even the wordless songs
with gongs
as we woke up to burning
incense every morning
                       pink and white calachuchi
                       I reach to touch my lei
                       and I don't feel a thing
Silence, only silence
and maybe one sound
just pause and then gong

As I imagine, as this morning
or the series one hopes
will be shown many times

As even those dreams
in America

0
then gone
-------------------------------

That was just a bit of fun, playing with Guest's "20" and the internet and how the internet on all devices keeps me awake at night. And not just me, actually.


Tuesday, April 30, 2013

NaPoWriMo#29: Plot Lines For Sleep

Plot Lines For Sleep
By Justine C. Tajonera

Sleep is a precious commodity nowadays.
If people could buy it bottled, they would.
It used to be simpler, in the past. It involved
counting some sheep, counting the stars.
Then, there were prayers, memorized or
a litany of requests. Then, there was the
pursuit with candles and incense sticks.
First, it was release then it was reward.
At some point it was a choice, at another,
it was fate. No matter, the beginning, the
middle, the foreshadowing and the conflict,
like death, it comes in the end, a curtain
that falls in waves, over our eyes.

Sunday, April 14, 2013

NaPoWriMo#14: Smell of Rain

Smell of Rain

By Justine C. Tajonera

The sirens from fire trucks have been ringing
for days. The heat makes me think of July two
decades ago when we knew that the rain would
come. First, I could feel it in the air and then
I could smell it as if the ground was coming up
to meet the condensation from the clouds. It came
with grass and snails and fallen leaves. And
afterwards I would read by the window.
I always wondered why school needed to start
during the wet season. I'll sleep remembering
the rain tonight, curled up like a ball of seed
waiting to unfold.

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Gabriel and the Blue Diwata




Gabriel and the Blue Diwata
by Justine Camacho-Tajonera

Once upon a time, there was a little boy named Gabriel. Gabriel was five years old and he did not like to sleep in the afternoons.

Gabriel needed lots of cajoling and compromise before he would sleep. There were afternoons of arguments, tears and shouting. He didn't listen to his Mom and Dad and he also didn't listen to his yaya. Then, one afternoon the blue fairy of sleep visited him. This happened in the early afternoon` when he was so angry that he kept his eyes open despite feeling tired.

The blue fairy isn't like the fairies in fairy tales. In the Philippines, she is called a diwata and she normally lives in forests or where there are trees. Since there aren't any forests in Pasig City, some diwatas migrated to the condominium swimming pools or the lonely trees lining cement pedestrian lanes. Because of this, the fairy was a little out of sorts and wasn't very benevolent. She was living in the ground floor swimming pool of Gabriel's condominium and she was very irritated by his constant crying. She had had enough.

So, there she was, in front of Gabriel as he was defiantly trying to keep his eyes open. "Gabriel," she said, "what will it take for you to stop crying?"
"I want to play!" he shouted at her. She did not find this polite at all. Unfortunately, the city had made her immune to noise, so his shouting didn't make a difference.
"This is what will happen. I'm going to take you away from here. And you won't be able to see your sister, or your mother and father or your yaya until you tell me that you want to sleep."
Gabriel agreed with this. He wanted anything but to sleep.

So, the blue diwata of sleep took him to the land of dinosaurs. She dropped him in the middle of the time when the dinosaurs were trying to escape all the volcanoes erupting. To make matters worse, the sky was covered with lots of dust because of the meteor that fell somewhere in the area known as Mexico. So, it was very dark and the only light to be seen was from the molten lava flowing from the volcanoes. All the animals were desperately running away from the volcano and Gabriel had no choice but to run with them. He was getting even more tired but he couldn't close his eyes.

"Help, blue fairy!" Gabriel said to the air. And the blue fairy appeared.
"Please get me out of here!" he pleaded with her. She picked him up, just in time to avoid being trampled over by a Triceratops.
"Okay, okay," said the harassed diwata. This time, she dropped him in the house with the seven little kids. Unfortunately, this was the moment in the story when the wolf was hunting down the little kids one by one and swallowing them whole. The grandfather clock was already occupied and Gabriel knew that this was the safest place to hide. "Oh no!" Gabriel exclaimed. Gabriel was able to run outside to the yard but unfortunately, the wolf saw him and started running after him. Gabriel ran and ran and ran. He didn't see the wolf behind him anymore but he was just so tired. He wanted to close his eyes for a little while but he found that he just couldn't close his eyes.

"Blue fairy, come back!" Gabriel cried. The blue diwata was back by his side but she was in a very bad mood. This was the second place where she had dropped him and he was already demanding to be put somewhere else. "I'm sorry, blue fairy. I just want to go back to my Mommy and Daddy and sister and yaya," he said crying. His tears were rolling down his face. And the blue diwata was really sorry for him. But rules were rules. And even if she was an unconventional diwata in the middle of Pasig City, she had to stick to what she had said. "I'm sorry, too, Gabriel, but rules are rules. The only way you can go back to your Mommy and Daddy and sister and yaya is by telling me that you are ready to go to sleep."

Gabriel was not happy about this. He still wanted his own way. "No, blue fairy, I don't want to go to sleep," he said even if his eyes were already drooping. So the fairy took him to a third place. It looked like his home but no one was in it. His toys were out of their boxes, ready to be played with. But it was very, very quiet. And no one was home. He tried playing with his toys but after five minutes he felt very sad.

"Blue fairy," Gabriel said to the air once again. "I want to go to sleep." The blue fairy sighed a deep sigh. Finally! So, the blue diwata appeared to Gabriel once again. Truly, she felt sorry for him because he was crying again, but this time not shouting anymore. So, the blue diwata took his hand and made him turn around once. This time, he was really back at home. He hugged his Mommy really tight. "Mama, I want to go to sleep!" he told his Mommy. And she took him to his room and hugged him tight. She read him a short story and then he drifed off to sleep, thinking about how nice it was to fall asleep beside his Mommy. The blue diwata looked on, smiling and invisible.     

The End

Monday, June 04, 2012

Clea, Sleeping

This for you to keep
when you are a grown woman
or maybe a mother yourself:
the smooth and plump
arch of your soles
when I kissed them
in your sleep,
your wispy baby hair
in my fingers
and the soft sound
of your breathing,
your brows not yet
drawn together
in your defiant little frown
as you lay dreaming.

May 27, 2012
by Justine Camacho-Tajonera

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Glass of Water


















by Justine C. Tajonera

In the middle of the night,
my son opens the door
to our room
looking for
me.

His head and neck are hot
from a fever
but he doesn't cry.
He lies down beside me,
content to be close by.

After an hour,
he turns to me
and makes a request,
"Water please."

My heart breaks over
his politeness.

Dear one, I would bring
rivers into this room
if you asked me.
I would haul the moon
with strings and
make the stars dance
to ease your fevered
sleep.

If my embrace and a glass
of water
is all you want,
here is my heart too
and a kiss
goodnight.

For Badger
(Feb. 20, 2010)


Image from http://www.flickr.com/photos/bergius/77596187/

Friday, February 05, 2010

White Sheets















by Justine C. Tajonera

Before I drifted off to a fevered
sleep, I had a vision of
a bed with white sheets.

The wind was blowing through
the white lace curtains,
I could taste salt in the air
and hear sea gulls calling.

The walls were earthen brown
around me and the floor
covered with polished red tiles
was cool to the touch.

The sky was blue beyond
the windows
and the sun was shining.
Somewhere outside
I could hear the people
I love
laughing. 

Before I sank into
the pillows,
I remembered thinking:
Today, I could
meet Death
for tea.

(Feb. 5, 2010)
Image from http://www.flickr.com/photos/profzucker/3319872646/

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