A Form of Prayer

This has to come from somewhere
deeper than me:
Over a solitary lunch of canned sausage
and crackers,
agonizing over the lack
of time and the glut
of work,
I think of the sky outside,
enduring things,
always beyond my grasp
a coat of love
sustains me,
reminds me
that I am
and that I am
blessed.

Creating PeaceSpace

I'm cramming, pressured, going through crunch time. I feel like 24 hours is not enough for one day. I really need a moment to myself. Just a moment. How easy to say. How hard to find.

That's why I try to allocate at least 5 - 10 minutes of my time having breakfast by myself in the office pantry. Just 5 minutes facing the sky and the building across. Just five minutes of sunshine, cereals and an entry in my journal. After that, everything comes out fine.

Also Yoga on Saturdays is becoming a habit. I need to breathe. As in really breathe. Ujayi breath. It's amazing how one's breath can become shallow in a work week. Whenever I can remember, I take a deep breath and exhale, swirling the air at the back of my throat. It actually does wonders.

PeaceSpace. One shouldn't live without it. I think we owe it to ourselves to try to find grace in our everyday lives.

Losing a journal

I just realized that I would go mad if I couldn't write. I just lost one of my journals last Saturday (the small one I was keeping in my bag) and I was just itching to write the whole weekend. It was so frustrating to not be able to grab a pen and write it on a journal leaf.

Writing is a way to survive. A form of therapy, you could say. It is part of what I am made of. This morning I forgot the journal I usually write on at the office and again I had a minor panic attack. I ended up writing on an office pad:

"I would go mad if I couldn't write. I feel that now, after having lost my journal. And today... a million things to do. Internal chaos. I just need to focus. To concentrate my strength. One thing that comforts me always is V's love. It is a balm in a hectic, chaotic, sometimes unbearable day. I can bear it because love buoys me. It's not trite. It is an inspiration to me. A reassurance. It makes the load feel lighter though it is really not any lighter."

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